IS YOUR WEBSITE ALIVE… OR JUST ONLINE? → LET’S FIND OUT!
$497 value • $250 special rate • or FREE with code ITSALIVE with permission to share autopsy publicly (FREE LIMITED TO 5 WEBSITES)
Website Auditopsy
YOUR WEBSITE ISN’T DEAD.
Maybe people are landing on your website and… leaving.
Maybe you’re getting inquiries, but not the right inquiries.
Maybe you built the thing three years ago, haven’t really touched it since, and now every time you look at it you think: Is this thing working?
Limited spots - book now!
Let's get to the cause of death.
Your website has a job.
It should make it immediately clear who you are, what you do, who it’s for, and what someone should do next.
And when one of those things isn’t clicking?
Something dies.
The inquiry.
The sale.
The trust.
The “oh shit, I need to work with her” moment.
The Website Autopsy looks at your site through the eyes of both a brand strategist + website designer to uncover where things are breaking down—and what I’d do about it.
What I'm examining
I’ll dig through your website and look at things like:
And most importantly: what I'd change.
Because knowing something isn’t working isn’t particularly helpful if you have no clue what to do about it.
Your Autopsy Report
After I examine the scene, you’ll receive your Website Autopsy Report breaking down my findings.
cause of death
The biggest thing currently holding your website back.
THE EVIDENCE
The specific pages, sections, messaging, design choices, or user-experience issues contributing to the problem.
WHAT’S STILL ALIVE + KICKING
Because I’m not here to rip apart perfectly good shit just for the sake of it. You’ll know what’s already working and worth keeping.
PRIORITY FIXES
What I’d change first, second, and third so you’re not staring at a giant list wondering where to start.
This is not a website redesign.
I’m not redesigning your pages.
I’m not rewriting your entire website.
And I’m not going to tell you everything needs to be burned to the ground just because I’m a website designer.
This is an audit.
You’re paying for my strategy, design expertise, and outside perspective so you can stop guessing and start making intentional changes.
If your site needs a few tweaks? I’ll tell you.
If there’s one glaring issue killing your conversions? I’ll tell you.
If the bones are good and you absolutely do not need a new website?
I’ll tell you that, too.
And if I think we need to call time of death and start over?
Well.
I’ll tell you that too.
READY FOR YOUR RESULTS?
The Website Autopsy
Normally $497
Currently $250
You’ll get a complete review of your website + personalized Website Autopsy Report showing you what’s working, what’s not, and what I’d prioritize fixing first.
$250
WAIT. WANT ME TO DO IT FOR FREE? Keep scrolling…
I’m looking for a few brave volunteers willing to let me perform their Website Autopsy in public.
Use code:
ITSALIVE
at checkout and your $250 Website Autopsy is completely free.
The catch? You’re giving me permission to use your website + portions of my audit publicly for Hey, Carl! marketing and educational content—think Instagram posts, Reels, Stories, emails, website content, and other places I talk about websites.
Your website becomes my case study. My expertise becomes your free audit and this code is only good for 5 websites. So be one of the firsts to take it, yeah?
Everybody wins. Nobody actually dies.
By using ITSALIVE, you’re agreeing that I may publicly share your business name, website, screenshots of your website, and my professional feedback/recommendations for marketing and educational purposes.
Don’t want your website dissected in front of the internet?
Totally fair.
Pay the $250 and your autopsy stays between us.
This is for you if:
You keep tweaking random things hoping it'll finally feel right.
You're emberassed to send people to it.
Traffic isn't turning into inquiries and you're not sure why.
Your offers have changed, your brand has evolved and you've outgrown it.
You want a professional to look at the damn thing and tell you what to do.
Hi, I'm Carly and I've seen some shit.
Websites, I mean.
I’m a brand strategist + designer and the human behind Hey, Carl! I’ve spent years building brands and websites for businesses of all shapes and sizes—which means I’ve also spent years noticing all the tiny things that make a website work.
And all the things quietly killing it.
I’m here to find the problem. Tell you why it’s a problem. And show you what I’d do about it.
Think of me as your website coroner.
Except considerably less qualified to handle an actual dead body.